Once upon a time, there was a very nice gentleman that lived in the mountains of Andalucia. He was a kindly man, always laughing, always glad to see people and was loved by everyone who knew him. He lived in a lovely house in the middle of a great big field where the birds sang, the cats meowed, the little dog barked and the goats “goated” or whatever it is them fuckers do all day long.
In his house was his wife, a likeable woman, from a great distance of course, who flitted about the property as happy as a Gypo in a junk yard and she sang and whistled all day long.
During the evening, they would both go on the Internet and look at a social media site called “Face Book” this is a place where people would leave messages and videos and little notes and funny little cartoons, pictures of themselves and such like.
One day, the wife of this much loved chap could hear him in his office “tut-tutting!” out very loud and wondered what could possibly be amiss with this kindly gentleman.
“Take a f*****g look at all this!” he said, pointing to the photographs on his computer monitor “babies! There’s nothing but f*****g babies! All over the f****g computer screen! Some c**t has sent me a f*****g virus and it is spreading f*****g pictures of these f*****g babies all over my bl*****g face book site!”
“Oh dear!” said his wife smiling “You silly man, that’s not a virus, that’s just your family and friends sending you pictures of their adorable off-spring, how cute!”
“Cute my f*****g arse! There’s babies all over the f*****g place! Fat babies, thin babies, hairy babies, baldy babies, happy babies, crying babies, babies with silly outfits on, babies dressed as Elf’s, Soldiers, Sailors, flowers, babies in the bath, babies in prams, babies on rugs, babies, babies f*****g babies! Aaaaaaaaaagh!” he screamed, throwing his bottle of soda water at the computer screen.
How his wife chucked, as he kicked the computer tower against the wall in rage and urinated into the Internet router, all the time swearing and cursing at the top of his voice.
“You are a silly fellow, those babies are adorable, just look, someone has sent a photo of his babies first poo! I never knew they could do a “three curler” at 4 months old, how lovely and look! There’s a photo of a little boy who has poured paint all over his dads new smart TV set, you really do have to laugh! And there, the little girl has set the cats goolies on fire! He looks very surprised” His wife was laughing, he was not normally enraged to the point where he actually torched his computer and sent emails to the Internet service providers threatening them with “Jihad!”
“That’s f*****g it! I’m going to put a Gypo’s f*****g curse on all them wot sends me photos of f*****g babies, you’ll see, I’ll sort these c***s out big time!” and with that he went out in search of a gypsy to curse his face book page. In the town, as luck would have it, there were plenty of Gypsies, OK, most of them were too pissed to do a curse so the kind man did the next best thing, he found a person that supported Manchester United and asked him to make a curse, after all, who better to out the “mockers” on things than a Man United fan.
And so it came to pass, for a bottle of beer and some photos of a goat, the Man United fan put a curse on the face book page of the very nice kind man; “From now on, reet, any babies on t’facebuk perg, their hair will turn out bright red! Unless they have already got red hair, in which case, t’babies wi’ red hair will grow muzzies and sideburns and the like and all t’babies will grow up supportin’ Liverpool or Citeh or Newcassle yewnaarted!”
The kindly man thanked the Manc /Gypo and f***ed off home to tell his wife the good news.
“From now on any baby posted on my page will have red hair, or be very hairy and will grow up supporting shite teams, like LFC, City, Newcastle; Chelsea or Real Madrid!”
The very nice kind man then sat in front of his repaired tower and monitor to watch as “the results came in” chuckling to himself all the time “red hair! Liverpool supporter…hahahahaha!” He lived happily ever after.